Finding Confidence

“You must be so confident to post all those pictures on Instagram”, “She’s just confident because she’s tall”…   the reality? I’m anything but naturally confident. When I started Style With Rachael, I was so excited to start something I was passionate about, but I was so worried that people wouldn’t like me. Being a self-proclaimed people pleaser, meant I wanted everyone to love my blog, the way I look and the way I assert myself on social media. However, of course, you can’t please everyone.

I have been self-conscious my whole life- probably like most people. I have insecurities and focus on my weaknesses and that brought me down a lot. I started doing a bit of modelling when I was 15 and HATED the camera. Every photo taken of me at fashion shows made me pick out every imperfection there was. Even when I take photos for my blog, my boyfriend will tell me how he loves all the photos we took, but I will sit over analysing, looking at every little detail in the picture. Lacking in confidence was something I just accepted and in response I put on a persona to try and cover up the fact I was really self-conscious. However until recently, a couple months ago to be exact, I realised how unhappy it made me. I started back at university after the summer and was really struggling. I had no confidence or motivation in myself, I wanted to just delete my blog and forget about everything. I don’t really know what happened, but I have a feeling it was to do with ignoring how I really felt and continuing on with this “perfect” image I portrayed. It was when I realised this, that I set myself three tasks to help, and I can honestly say they did. So I am writing this in the hope that I can help someone else.

  1. Don’t care about what other people think of you- yes this is cliche and yes it is so much easier said than done. But honestly, it is life changing. As I said, I am a people pleaser, and really want everyone to love me, but I have realised that is not possible- and you know what? Who cares. Life is waaaay to short, and quite frankly, why waste time and energy on people that negative anyway. Since ignoring what people have to say (not all the time- I have my bad days, like this weekend I was getting worked up about a couple of comments) I have felt so much more assured in myself and a weight off my shoulders.
  2. Focus on your strengths and passions– ‘Education, Education, Education’ has been drilled into my head my whole life. The slight issue though? I’m not great at the whole education/university thing. I love the social aspect, but the whole exams/assessment aspect? Not so good at that. Don’t get me wrong, I work my bum off and I try so hard- I just don’t think uni is for me. I get stressed, I don’t think it shows my strengths and quite frankly I just hate my course. I want to work in fashion, and thought after I graduate from my business degree I HAVE to get a fashion degree and I felt super unconfident about that fact I will get a job in the industry without. But recently I have realised that there is really no point in me stressing and being unhappy for another year. So I have completely changed my plan and decided to take a year out after uni to focus on my strength and passion- my blog. This is a much scarier option, but I think I can really do well in this industry with my blog and feel super confident about that. So if you have a strength or a passion- go after it. Don’t conform to what you think you have to- take a risk and have confidence in yourself.
  3. Love yourself- yes another cliche, but this is so important. I think the most important thing I have learned is to find what makes you happy and to find what aspects of yourself make you happy. Whether its as small as your laugh or your eye colour- love it! I know that sounds silly, but I have recently been focusing on small aspects of myself that I actually quite like, and last week I found myself- believe it or not- a little bit more confident in the way that I look!

Basically, we all have insecurities- its part of life. Even Victoria’s Secret models will have something they don’t like about themselves but it is so important to not focus on that- but also don’t ignore it!

I hope that if you are reading this, and can relate to how I felt a few months ago, that taking little steps in accepting you have insecurities but acting on them can make thinks that little bit better.

Have a lovely, positive week!

Rachael xx

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